How is your relationship with the present moment?

The present—the here and now, what’s happening to me today, what I’m living and feeling in this very moment. There are many ways to relate to the present, and today I’ll discuss some of them and why living more in the present than in the past or the future is so beneficial for both mind and body.

Let’s start with the idea that the only thing that truly exists is the present moment—the one you’re experiencing right now. Everything you remember from the past or project into the future has little to do with reality. Why?

How We Coexist with Memories of the Past

When we think about the past, we usually do so in two ways: we magnify the good and try to avoid recalling the bad. Let me illustrate with two imaginary examples:

• I remember how wonderful my son’s 18th birthday party was a few years ago. I recall who attended, the music, the laughter, my son having fun with his friends, my family being happy… When I think back to that day, I don’t focus on the fact that I was dealing with a tough work situation, struggling with the bank over a mortgage, and that the party ended up going way over budget. We tend to remember good moments from the positive emotions they evoke, not from the full reality of the circumstances at the time.

• During my teenage years, I had to switch schools because my family moved to another city. I went from a school where I had a tight group of friends and was excelling academically to one where I struggled to adapt and connect with people. I rarely recall those moments deliberately, and when I do, the memories are vague and lacking detail.

  
  

Living in the Future

When we live more in the future than the present, we spend our time daydreaming about how life will be in a few months or years. Sometimes, we live more in an imaginary world of desires than in the reality we’re in. This often forces us to manage unmet expectations and frequently leads to dissatisfaction, where the present becomes an unachieved project. Here’s an example:

• I’ve spent much of my life dreaming about taking a sabbatical year to travel the world. For one reason or another, I haven’t been able to do it yet, and I feel frustrated when another year ends, a new one begins, and my dream feels further away.

Making plans is great. The problem arises when we allow those plans to dictate our happiness. What are you giving so much power to that it keeps you from fully living the present moment?

Embracing the Present

The present moment is our reality. If you want to dream about something you hope to achieve, that’s fine, but visualize it and decide what steps you’ll take to make it happen. If you recall something with joy or fondness, that’s wonderful too. But I’d caution against falling into the nostalgia of “the good old days” because your mind may not remember that those good times also had their share of challenges.

In coaching, we help you reflect on these patterns and activate changes that can be difficult to initiate on your own.

In short, all we truly have is today—our reality. My question to you is: What are you doing to make today amazing? Circumstances change when you change your way of thinking. Remember, we are what we think.

I encourage you to reflect: where does your mind usually dwell—past, present, or future? If it’s not in the present, what are you running from? What do you need to improve to make your present worthy of being fully lived? Only you can improve your life.

Image by Freepik

Melinda Sánchez Coach

www.melindasanchezcoach.com